Like, I had been up in this game for barely a minute and already the life and death decisions had been thrust upon me. I looked up at the swirling black, maroon and green clouds overhead, flashing with balls of electricity. Could I really be about to kill the most hated fascist in the solar system? Did I have the right? Was the right to kill one I possessed, after all, since I was frail?
Then I was struck by a sudden, unexpected and jolting realization about the state of affairs as they had played out since, five days ago, I had been walking down the docks, listening to that Messican music, and expecting the purchase of my dream boat. What I realized was that, Merlyn was the one consistent theme throughout the adventure, he had been there from start to progression. He had been pushing me on, luring me on, seducing me into danger at every turn. Was it him? Was he the secret. Could I afford to risk the death of this fool who was all like hating on everyone, even the blacks?
Or did i have it twisted? Was I blind to the righteousness of Merlyn?
El Rushbo was sitting behind his desk, chewing on a slobbery cigar, pills mushed and mixed into the slobber. "What's it gonna be? You think you got the juice?"
"Act with haste!" We must rescue Arthur before the teeming minions of this puss filled monstrosity are allowed to acquire sciencia of our movements!"
I turned, slowly, pausing for effect in mid-turn, as a wisp of hair folded over my eye, which was itself emitting a star shaped shine, "Naw dog, I don't even trip on that! All this time, you been stringing me along, like a two bits of money, as if I was the dumbest fool in the hood!"
"And that's what trips me out the most", I said, keeping it real, "It's like, you totally know what the deal was, you totally know where I was coming from, and what I've been through, but you just, like, totally disregarded, like, my whole emotions." I shook my head, in disappointment rather than involuntary tic.
The grand old wizard slowly shook his own head, but not like me, in disappointment, but rather in amazement. "You've been beguiled." As he said this, i felt something moist and slimy on my chin. I touched the fingers of my not holding a gun hand to my chin and pulled it away, to within the sight of my eyes. What i beheld practically caused me to stumble loosely, shocked in amazement. It was the same sort of slobber emanating from el Rushbo's mouth.
I really had been poisoned, duped, flummoxed. They had gotten to me faster than a Tijuana whore on a blue-light special!
I exhaled a squeak, like as if I was all like some kind of all jacked up, freaky, like monster from Freddy or something.
Then, unsaranmoniously, I fainted.
The first think I saw on my awakening were the coldest pair of blue yes I'd ever seen. The second thing was the frame of blond hair that enclosed the area of my face. The eyes came closer to me. "You know what, you little punk? You're so totally lucky about what's about to happen!"
"Wha- What-?" I asked, barely able to make a sentence. I was scared out of my league. The old wizard had told me that the guys here were into Aryans, and then I had seen the Rushbo, who was all KKK times ten, and now this other one, total white chick. I was like, damn what's up with the scenario going down for real!
"Where's Merlyn?", I befuddedly asked. She shook her head and leaned back, her hair flinging over her shoulder. "Un, okay, you really need to realized something here. Umm, you've been rescued! And you must be really be brainwashed if you don't deeply appreciate the way I put my life on the line to protect you're freedom back there!" Unh-hunh! And I thought Blondes just wanna have fun, okay!
Then, she explained all the plot information that I had previously been unaware of, seeing as I hadn't known about it.
She said that actually, Arthur had wanted to come to this place, to get help, to get counseling for him being a gay. They said that the people in power back on Earth, AKA, the System, was trying to stop Arthur from getting cured, cause if he was gay, than that would destroy the historical mythos of Anglo-Saxon heroic leadership and complete the domination of the gays and minorities. Wuh wuh? That was about me? Didn't she know that I was a minority too. So, instead of just thinking it out like that, I asked her straight up front.
She's all "That's why you'll make the perfect vessel! For when I infiltrate the system to free the Aryans from the death grip of that foreigner controlling America!"
Oh, so that was it, they were gonna pretend to be me, but she was taller than me, and thinner, and she was a chick. Then I saw what she was getting at, she started doing that face off thing, like in the movie: "Face.... off!" Was she gonna take my face off and give me hers?
"No.", she excacerbated, "I just mean that I'm gonna look like you and you're gonna look like me. Moron!"
"Wait a sec." A thought came to me, unbidden by my conscious mind, almost bubbling up from my unconsciousness, where who knew what bubbly broths stewed. "Where's Merlyn?"
"He cut and run, like the typical radical liberal Marxist elitist that he is would do. After we rescued Merlyn."
Then she walked over to a wall full of little levers, not like light switches, but more like the toggles on old machines, the kind that they have in movies from the good old days.
Then I felt woozy, and the glimmer of hope I had had that this freaky lady was going to lead me to the Authur, the object of hagriophyical interest to me, was further dashed, dashed out of my mind and thoughts, and dashed against the rocks of my infamy, as I swooned into unconsciousness, hearing the words: "Face.......off!"
I woke up feeling really good, like I'd just had a long sleep. As usual upon waking, I reach down to rub my junk, some of which was usually engorged. But my junk, all three of them, wasn't there!!!
I looked around. I was in the same room, but nobody was there. On a table near the door was a red, leather purse, the straps were entwined with a gold chain. I looked inside and pulled out a wallet. Inside was a driver's license with the white chick's picture on it.
Then, I pulled out a silver round thing with a little button on it. I pushed the button and the thing opened. It was a mirror. And in the mirror, to my horror, and not quite astonishment, I saw the white chick!
I put my hand back in the purse, looking for some more information that would tell me that this was some sort of trick. But all I found was some lipstick, a switchblade, mascara, and a small envelope, with a lace bow on the front. I opened it and took out the card, which had a picture of a fat bulldog, raising his paw. Written over this was the message: They're switching off Arthur's gay gene. He should be straight in about an hour or so. Enjoy this superior body. Don't get mad and abuse it, or masturbate, or I will retaliate on your body.
God Bless, Rand Coultier.
Well, I'll be damned!!!! What was I gonna do now, just sit here and wait? Was it right to ungay Arthur, what about the ethical implications that would arise from such a procedure? And, how was she gonna know what touching I did to her body with her hands? Was there hidden cameras in here?
page 586, feel me up
page 6791, Find Arthur
page 8, look for Merlyn
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