Sunday, July 11, 2010

Fiction: Darrens Perilous Journey Page 586 I Feel Me Up

Even though this chick was some kind of fascist, and her face was kind of mannish, she was still a woman, and she was pretty thin.  Plus, I hadn't been laid since I was like, well like a long time ago.

So I went at it, got all up on me, rubbing and kneading and poking.  After a few minutes, I was naked and glistening, rolling all over the floor.  My eyes were closed to the world, heedless of what might happen when I wasn't looking.

As in keeping with my heedlessness, induced by my misguided ecstatic indulgence, I was unawares of what the deal was as the  crashing of the door shook me into opening my eyes to see what had made the sound.


Arthur stood there, with his sword out, straight pointing at me.  He looked all mad, like he was all like "I'm a kill you!"  I threw my hands from this borrowed body and was all "It's me, your liege, don't stab me!"

When I heard my voice,  I realize that I totally sounded like a bitch!  How would he know it was me?  I had to rack my brains thinking about that.

I had to tell him things that he would know it was me.  But then, all suddenly, he was clear about what the deal was.  He had gotten the big picture.  Seeing the note on the table next to him, he read and said "This fascist wench has taketh thy form and figure!  Then you must be, indeed, my chosen hagriographer."

Oh what a relief.  I got some tissues from that chicks purse, and wiped all the stuff off myself.  Then, I said "Check it out, my bro.  Here's what she was like putting out there about whats like happening and what not"

As Arthur listened, he looked really pissed.  He took his sword and stabbed through the scientific-ish equipment all around the room, frenzying around in fury.

When all the stuff in the room was bashed beyond recognitions, he sheathed his sword in its holder, and wearily shook his head, from side to side.  "Them that broughteth me thusly hath ever been struggling to desodomize my soul." 

I felt so sorry, cause I had been all getting it twisted, in regards to the plot and like you know. 

He forgave me and said "We must be off from here.  At last, the time has come to begin your hagriophical mission, foretold in times past by men bold in rooms grand!"

Finally, I thought.  But then I was all, Am I ready?   I mean, I'm like, not really good at essays.  But it was finally time to do the do, be I ready or not. 

"Rand Coultier wants your body to take to the fair and wondrous, yet thoroughly corrupt with corporate gold, Freedom Peoples Congress of Common Folk, sequestered on the Zarcon planet, and now contesting the august issue of Gay Space Exploration."

Uh-oh, I thought.  I wasn't a homophobe or nothing, but wasn't that gonna change the definition of Space Exploration, which was for straight people and aliens only?

But, then, I thought, maybe I've had enough of all this.  My family taught me to stay out of politics.  But then, on the other hand, I knew a lot about politics from games, like the massive multi-players they used to have when I was but a lad, whiling away the innocence of my childhood days, games like "Parley Mount", and "You Knighted States".  I still had a cent a mental attachment to these games of yore. 

Athur was looking at me, intensely, and that was freaky, cause he was like six feet four and all mythically buff looking.  "And what lies still unbeknownst to those minted, gilded parishoners of that church whose sole edifice is the cross of corruption, is the persistence, the utter, dogged persistence of mine own heroism, ever recurrent amid the tremulation of history, to arise against the tide of injustice, in the name of the people, yearning in their huddled masses for that salvation which I bringeth unto them." 

I felt the tears running down my cheeks.  It was such a powerful message!  And I looked down and  -  Oh no, I was still naked, I looked at this pale naked body and felt a little sickened, it was totally time to get back to my own body, although I liked the idea of being thinner, since a lot of chicks didn't like me cause of my little sum'in sum'in i had going on round my waist.

The only clothes I had to wear was the red dress she had left on her body before jacking mine.  "Sir," I said, keeping my spitting it in appropriateness to his majesty.  "Doth ye think that hereabouts might be sequestered garments and/or rainments befitting this ghastly form which I doth inhabit presently?"

He went out the room and briefly came back with a folded bundle of sweats and t-shirts.  Thanks a million, I thought, now at least I can get a little comfy going on.  I got dressed while he went and got me some socks and shoes, equally comfy. 

Then I was all like, thinking how we gon' get out here if ain't got Merlyn to bust us out magical style?" 

He winked at me, "The email hath already been loosed and replied to."

Just then, a burst of magic exploded beside me, while at the same time, the little jelly roll figure rolled up behind Arthur, with a gun, a 67-fenmeister zeppelin to be exact.  "We tried to help you, you damn faggot." 

But Merlyn instantly zapped him.  Rushbo screamed, jiggling all over and flapping his hands around, as the drool continued to flow out of his mouth.  

As he collapsed to the ground, he managed to be all like "The kids body is toast, I mean, like to the max!  Rand Coultier is gonna chop his thing off if you guys try to interfere your homonazi crap on the space congress hearings." 

Merlyn zapped him again, and he shut up.  He was all "Me thinks thou has had too much of commotion for the nonce, be it suitable to my liege, I should want you to divert your attentions for the while."

Oh what?  They gonna let me rest for awhile with all this stuff going on?  We gotta get my body back, and I gotta get the hagriography written like quick like. 

Page 23232  I go to rest, and feel up me again.
Page 42  I take a break and just chill
Page 5343 No, let's get out of here!

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