Wednesday, June 22, 2011

NON-FICTION: Loyalty to a Higher Power - Get Down From There!

I'm listening to The Book of Mormon, which is a joyous musical, and thinking about how Mormon missions are chosen for particular missionaries.  I see a a stage or ampitheatre where the stout, snubbed nose white guy feels all proud of himself as he looks over a standing crowd of scrubbed young man, all with no hint of facial hair.

When I thought about what authority these guys use to choose missions, like maybe they have different departments, each devoted to a region, and when the team over at the Southern Caucasus bureau sends out emails all over the place, and whoever answers the first gets more god cred.

However they choose to do it, they always got to be appealing to the authority of their god.  And how are you going to know if you should give a fuck what it says?

Two ways, obviously.  One, you get loyal to him just because you feel it's the thing to do.  Two, you realize you better freaking trust him, cause he can mess you the hell up.

But what if Jesus and all the other gods can't take us.

What if they're all bullshitters?

It's a real dilemma.  You don't want to get your ass kicked, but you don't want to risk having to suppress your self for this guy.  Anybody like that, they're gonna go off on you anyways, sooner or later.  You gotta answer the question, when this relationship threatens my safety or the safety of others, how is this guy going to be stopped?  

You don't want to suppress that feeling that says that this is right, because its a real feeling, and it makes you feel safe, loved, and accountable.

But how are you going to trust anyone if they don't tolerate criticism?

At some point in our domestic life, he's standing there in the kitchen in a faded sweater with a picture of some mountain he went to on vacation silk, screened and cracking.  And he's holding his hand up, waving it as he explains all the shit your doing wrong.  "You need to stop the free bread they give you at Italian restaurants.  That's really why you've been gaining all that weight in your face."  But does he take your advice?

 Or he/it/she is telling us what we gotta think.  They tell us to get the hell out of the kitchen.

But if you even questioned one damn thing they were doing, they would just stop and slowly glare at you.

Can you even imagine what they'd do if you told them to get the hell out, that they were getting fat in the face?

So god is up there, being perfect, and he can't have a conversation with me.  He can't hear me say "I love you god, but I cannot believe you would say anything as nonsensical as that shit about you making all the universe.  Do you know even know what gravity is?"

The Mormon guy who reads out the mission assignments, in the auditorium I have imagined, shouldn't be handing anything out.  He should be receiving, at least.  At least receiving the thoughts and preferences of all those pure young men. (stop perving on Missionary Fantasies!)

But  if you were to walk up to that man when he was sitting at his desk, and put your hand on his shoulder, squeeze it, and say "Hey.  Are you okay?  You look tired, man.  Take a break.,"  he would get his blood up worrying that you were trying to take his power.

He'd have to go take a piss, meditating on the best strategy for any future takeover attempts.

Why didn't Jesus go around listening to people, instead of just cracking jokes, moralizing, and boasting his greatness?

And if god came down today, and demanded that we all have faith, that we all feel that he is everything he's supposed be, feel that we have to believe it, and believe that it has to be true, then we'd have be able to have an actual conversation with him.

We'd have to tell him that if he was going to act like someone with special power privilege, than we wouldn't want to work with him.

And if god said "Okay.  I'm sorry.  I'll come down and just talk about what I feel for awhile." then we'd be better off just listening, and giving god the option of being weak, being stupid, being petty, and being arrogant.

That's love.  

And if we don't give it to him, than how can he give it to us.  Love goes both ways, and so does obedience.  The man who feels his wife controls him, is denying her the right to be nuanced, to do things that have unintended consequences, and denying her the right to be equal.

God wants to deny it's equality with us.  Some of us want to be equal with it, some of us want it to be greater than us.  So, lets let it be both.

Let god come down once in awhile and explain itself.  Hang out, so we can all get to know each other.

On the other hand, any asshole that claims to represent our interests without our input or control over his or her decisions needs to be stopped.

When someone is throwing bottles at you, you don't need to decide whether or not they are essentially good or bad, whether or not they have the right reasons for what they're doing.

You just need to stop them from hurting you, and from hurting other people.  Later on, when they're settled down, or maybe way after that, they can come on down with the rest of us, and stop acting like a tough guy.

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