AA, Capitalism, and struggle: transcribed from the show Flash Forward, where every single human on earth blacks out, and has visions of the same future. Few days later, a guy at AA whos had a vision of himself going back to the bottle, interrupts a guy in group. Familiar anyone?
Imagine this in Hoover 205, Tuesdays at 430.
Struggling person 1: "I've been struggling ever since I had the visions. They say we're supposed to live our lives one day at a time. But how'm I supposed to do that with the future breathing down my neck? Every day just brings us closer to what I saw, and it seems like I can't avoid it. And there you are just staring at me! Do you have any answers? No, you dont! Because this programs a joke!"
Struggling person 2: "I got an answer for you: I'm'a take a walk, cool down a little. And spare us the rest of your pent up anger."
Now, imagine they are walking from Hoover to the Spot:
Struggling person 3: "Look I hated seeing that as much as you, but you never interrupt another persons share."
Struggling person 2: "I'm sorry, but loaded and sharing. That guy was pushing my buttons. I've been going through a lot of stuff you know?"
Struggling person 3: "So is he. I know you're worried about Olivia. You're worried you're gonna fall off the wagon in the future. He's [SP 3] gone and done it now. What's the difference? You're both struggling? Look at all these people. Everyone of them is dealing with the same thing we are. The future. The only difference is: Most of them don't have a support group to help them cope with what they saw."
What else are we planning for if not the future? What else do we have to worry about if not the future? We need support to cope, and we need organization to sustain the trust that allows us to sit with other people and say what you feel, even when we are afraid, and listen to other people, even when you feel its so wrong, or that they need your advice.
The idea of trying this with students, with other activists- It scares me. I'm afraid of the pain that can come out.... But more, I'm just afraid of feeling that vulnerability that comes with collective trust.
It's not a theory that we believe in, its an experience that we need, and that we are all already hurting from not having. Part of recovery is knowing that when I say I don't want to get angry, I gotta know that theres a feeling there, there is experience. And thats what I am: ideas and thoughts are of the past, experience is here, and the future is what we need to work on.
I think we have a good chance at creating collective trust in a group, and we can always remind ourselves: We're learning. We're equal. We can forgive, and we can be angry, and we can get to the point: what are we after, and what are we doing to achieve it? Do we have people who have been in AA, or other groups on campus who could help out?